Saturday, May 25, 2019

Free-Range Bro Report: Mounted Curl Spotting!

Note: The following observations are best read in David Attenborough's voice.

During my field work today, I was lucky enough to catch a sighting of one of the more-rare and exciting varieties of free range bros. A top-heavy, frosted-tipped, rack-curler! It was an excellent example as well, in color-coordinated track pants and shoes, with an excellent example nipple-barring tank top! Just gorgeous!

Not only that, but I managed to observe it engaged in some truly remarkable behavior, that has been described in the scientific literature, but is not often seen: mounted curl spotting!

No one really knows why the behavior occurs, but there is speculation that, perhaps, it is a way of establishing dominance within the bachelor herds in which free-range bros travel.  The other possibility is that it is a demonstration of the bro's sexual prowess, aimed at the female of the species, by displaying the bro's ability keep his hips moving in coordination with another's hips, while wrapping his arms lovingly around the submissive bro and gently touching his fingertips to the curling forearms of the other.  Regardless of the creature's motivations, it is a remarkable display!

I feel truly honored to have witnessed this, one of the glories of nature on our planet.


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